Small Town
by Adrian Jade
Summary: Living in small town America has it's advantages and it's disadvantages. This story follows John Cena and his bestfriend Ashley Mercer as they grow up in the small town of West Newbury.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Girl Meets Boy

Growing up in a small town was always fun because you knew everyone, first loves and life long friends evolve in a small town, John Cena and his 4 brothers grew up in a small town just outside Boston, Massachusetts, some say this is the story of the second oldest Cena brother, and in a way it is but this is also her story. Growing up next door to each other had it's advantages … 99 of the time they were in trouble but that 5 when they were being good that was the best time. How do I know this you ask well that is because I was there. Ashley like John was the second child in progression. I was her older sister, her older twin sister. Ashley was 2 minutes younger than me. Our story starts when Ashley and myself were 5 years old. Our father Russell moved us to West Newbury from Toronto, Canada. Ashley loved it immediately but then again Ashley loved anything.

"Looks girls we have our own backyard now" our father had said.

Ashley was ecstatic because we had lived in an apartment building before which didn't leave much space for an overactive 5 year old to run and play. I myself was more reserved and quiet than my sister but then again a child with asthma couldn't do much back then. Ashley ran outside and stood there for a few moments just looking around. I watched her from the house, our younger brother Owen was sitting in my lap. He was a year old then complications with his heart killed my baby brother before his third birthday but that isn't the story at hand. Like I said Ashley was outside just marveling at the trees and flower that grew in the backyard. But then a baseball seemed to have fallen from the sky. Of course it had only come from next door but then again Ashley was 5 who really knows what she thought.

"Ok Matt I'll go get it" a boy yelled walking into our yard.

He was wearing a blue t-shirt and shorts, a Boston Redsox hat and a baseball glove added to the reasoning that the baseball was his. He had come from the woods in the back of our house. He turned around to find Ashley standing there holding said baseball.

"Hi" he said.

"Hi" Ashley replied with a smile.

"My name is John, what's yours?" he asked.

"Ashley" she said.

"How old are you?" he asked.

"I turned 5 in March" she answered.

"I turned 6 in April" John said. He grinned showing off the places where baby teeth had once been.

"So this is your ball right?" Ashley asked.

"Yep, me and my brother Matt were playin" John replied.

"I have a brother too his name is Owen but he's a baby" Ashley said. "I have a sister too we're twins"

John explained that he had four brothers, Matt who was older and Dan, Steve and Sean who was younger. They began talking and this day that was probably the longest conversation John and Ashley ever had. That sounds crazy but Ashley and John spoke through actions, they always had to be doing something because they would drive themselves and everybody around them crazy is they were bored. By the time the conversation was over it had started to get dark. John knew he had to leave his mother would want him in soon.

"I have to go" he said "but I can come back tomorrow"

"Ok" Ashley replied.

"Bye" Ashley watched John disappear before going in herself.

John did come back the next day and everyday that week. He and Ashley became instant best friends. This was both a good thing and a bad thing I guess. I lost my best friend then and it would take years to get her back.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2: First Kiss_

_May 1990_

"Mom I can't find my mitt" 12 year old Ashley yelled.

Our mother Lisa sighed. I knew she would never admit it but she wished Ashley was more like a little lady and less like a tomboy. Unlike me Ashley preferred to be friends with boys, the Cena boys to be exact. Although she loved all of them, John was her best friend. They told each other everything.

"Ashley you can't play baseball today we are going to visit your grandmother" our mother reminded her.

Ashley opened her mouth to argue with mom but decided against it.

Our mother smiled "Go change into the dress I laid out for you."

I snickered a little knowing very well that Ashley hated dresses almost as much as she hated going to visit our grandmother. Grandmother Cabot was a very strict old woman who believed that children should be seen and not heard and that young girls were to grow up to be respectful women. She was really old fashioned, and it took all Ashley's self control to contain herself even for a little while.

"What are you laughing at dumbass?" Ashley asked.

"Mom! Ashley called me a dumbass" I yelled.

"Ashley Michelle what did I tell you about cursing" mom had her hands on her hips.

"That it isn't lady like" Ashley spat.

"You are lucky I am not going to go and get the soap" mom threatened.

Oh yes Ashley was an experienced veteran when it came to the soap. But hanging around with all boys tends to do that to a girl. Ashley didn't even flinch at the threat. But then again Ashley wasn't the type of person to be afraid of anything. She was too stubborn to be scared. Ashley just went to go change into her outfit.

"Sweetie can you go check on Damian and Lucas?" my mother asked me.

Damian was our cousin who lived with us. He was 14 then and acted like our older brother. Lucas actually was our brother, he was 6. Damian and Lucas were in the living room playing a videogame. Ashley came downstairs sulking, she had a seat on the couch next to Lucas.

"Aww Luke you beat me again" Damian yelled. He was letting Lucas win and everybody but Lucas knew it.

The doorbell rang, Ashley got up to answer it. I followed because I was bored and had nothing else to do.

John was standing in the doorway with an amused smirk on his face.

"You look pretty Ash" John said in a mocking tone.

"Shut it Cena" Ashley retorted.

"You know sometimes I forget you are a girl" he said. A clouded look came over Ashley's features. It was only for a brief second but I had seen it.

"Well I am one!" she yelled "and it is obvious that I can't go and play baseball today… so just leave!"

John looked a little shocked, Ashley had never yelled at him like that before. I knew that Ashley had developed a crush on John but I didn't call her on it right then and there because she would have denied it anyways.

Later that night Ashley and I were lying in our beds.

"Ash, you asleep" I asked.

"No" she replied. She turned to face me.

"You like John don't you?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's my best friend" she replied.

"That's not what I mean and you know it" I said.

"I don't know" she said "sometimes I just wish he would look at me the way he looks at other girls". She sighed.

"I really don't know what to tell you" I said.

"Then don't try" Ashley commented.

She turned away from me so she was facing the wall.

"What do you hate me so much?" I asked.

"I don't hate you" she said "… it's… never mind"

Ashley stayed in her bad mood for about a week. Our parents were really worried about her, even John seemed depressed. It was about 4 days into her "little vacation from the rest of the world", I found myself on the porch swing. John had the seat next to me.

"Hey" he said.

"Hi" I replied. I wasn't really sure what to say next because John and I didn't really have one on one conversations.

"How are you?" he asked.

"John is there something you want because you and I don't talk" I commented.

"Is Ashley alright?" he asked. "I haven't seen her since she yelled at me."

"She's ok" I replied "we don't really talk"

"Why is that?" he asked.

"We are just too different" I answered.

"Could you do me a favor?" he asked.

"Sure what is it?"

"Can you ask Ashley to meet me in my backyard at 10?"

"Ok?" I said.

He smiled and thanked me before walking away. I sighed it was obvious that he cared about and maybe even had feelings for my younger sister.

"I love you John" I whispered to his retreating form.

I went into the house and then up to the room I shared with my sister. Ashley was reading a book, I laid down on my bed staring at the ceiling.

"John wants you to meet him tonight" I told her.

"And?" she asked.

"He's really worried about you, and from how lost he sounded I think he might even really care about you" I said "you'd be a fool not to go"

She looked at me for a moment and then turned off the light.

How could she not see how lucky she was, John cared about her deeply and she was too foolish to see it. Well if she wanted to be that way let her, which is what I did. The next morning Ashley was as moody as ever. Today was the end of the long weekend we had been enjoying, Tuesday meant school. I dragged myself out of bed. Ashley was in the bathroom putting on what I believed to be MY makeup.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She turned towards me "What do you think?"

"I think you are perfect if you are trying to get a job as a clown" I replied.

"This is useless!" she threw her hands up in the air.

"Relax I can fix this" I said grabbing some tissues.

It took me about 20 minutes but I have to say she looked really good.

"You clean up real nice" I said.

"Yeah well don't get used to this because I am only trying this out" she said.

"I hope you aren't planning to wear that" I said pointing to her outfit.

"What is the matter with what I am wearing?" Ashley asked.

"Well for starters the baseball hat has to be removed and I think you should wear your hair down" I suggested as I took her hair out of the ponytail she had it in. "next you need to wear something more flattering to your figure".

Ashley crossed her arms over her chest.

"Now I know you hate dresses so let's go for a skirt and a nice blouse"

"You sound like mom" Ashley said.

"And I have no idea who you sound like so let's go and get you a new outfit" I said.

Ashley looked very nice when I was finished. Now we really did look like twins, people wouldn't be able to tell us apart which could be so much fun.

"Morning mom" I said grabbing an orange.

"Good morning sweetie" mom replied.

Ah yes the nicknames I was always sweetie and Ashley was slugger.

"Morning people who I am forced to call family" Ashley sat down next to me at the breakfast table.

"Ashley you look very nice today" our mother said happily.

"Thanks" Ashley said.

"Well come on Ash were gonna be late if we don't hurry" I said.

We grabbed our books and left. John and Matt were waiting for us in front of our house.

"Jesus Ash you look hot" Matt said. Matt was the same age as Damian.

"Ash can we talk?" John asked.

"Yeah sure" Ashley said.

"Go ahead guys we'll meet up with you later" John assured us.

"Ok, but if you are gonna cut school which I have a feeling you two are going to do I know nothing about it" I said.

We walked away, I'm not sure about all of what happened next because all I know is what Ashley wrote down in her diary.

"Hey" John said swinging his arms aimlessly.

"Umm hi" Ashley replied.

"Why didn't you meet me the other night?" John asked.

"I don't know" Ashley replied.

"I want to show you something" he said grabbing her hand.

"John where are we going?" Ashley asked.

"You'll see" he said.

She followed behind him for about 20 minutes before they finally got to their destination. They were sitting in front of a small stream, wildflowers were growing everywhere.

"Where are we?" she asked.

"In the back of the woods behind our houses" John replied "last night there was a meteor shower and I wanted to watch it with you from here".

"Oh" was all Ashley could say.

"What's been going on with you?" John asked.

"Nothing I'm fine" Ashley answered.

"Come on you are like my little sister you should be able to tell me anything" John said.

"That is just it I'm not your little sister" Ashley said "why do you have to think of me that way?"

"What do you mean?" John asked.

"What do you see when you look at me?"

"I see you, the same girl who has been my best friend since I was 6" John replied.

Ashley bit her bottom lip. She could clearly see that this conversation was going nowhere fast. That is when she got an idea.

She grabbed John's hand and pulled him to her. Her lips met his for a brief second but Ashley later went on to say that there was a shock of electricity when their lips met. She backed off quickly. John was surprised he never would have though his best friend would be the one to give him his first kiss.

"Where did that come from?" he asked.

That wasn't the first thing Ashley had expected to come out of his mouth.

"Just forget about it" she said before she started walking away from him.

"Where are you going" he called after her.

She ran all the way home. Our parents were surprised to see her. She told them she didn't feel well, they accepted this. My mother sent Ashley up to our room, she went without a fuss. As soon as the door closed behind her the tears began to fall. She had made a fool of herself in front of John and now she feared it would never be the same.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3: Relationships and Kicking Ass_

_January 1992_

Ashley and I were now freshmen in high school. Ashley had done a complete 180, she now dressed in tight jeans and t-shirts, which was the style in those days. To say she was beating the boys off with a stick wouldn't be too far from the truth. Ashley was currently dating a sophomore named Ben Davis. Ben was a pretty boy in all sense of the word. He would later on become a model but that isn't here nor there. Ben was good friends with John which is why I think Ashley had been so eager to date him. John was single and that is the way he seemed to like it. Ashley and John were still friends but their relationship was very complicated.

Ashley had one arm wrapped around Ben's waist, they were talking about something. Out of the corner of my eye I could see John watching them and he didn't look like he enjoyed the scene in front of him.

"You know if you keep staring at them like that people might notice" I said to John.

He returned to putting the books into his locker.

"I have no idea what you are talking about" he said.

"Why don't you just admit that you like her?" I asked.

"I don't like her" John said through gritted teeth "and I'd really wish you would stop saying that"

I sighed at this moment I couldn't believe that I ever like this stubborn ass. That little phase didn't last too long, it was about the time that I found out that my sister had kissed him that I lost interest, or that is what I kept telling myself.

"Ok John if that is what you want then I'll stop" I said to John sweetly.

"Thank you" he said "I have football practice but you, Ashley and Maddie are still coming bowling with me and my brothers and Marc tonight right?"

"As far as I know" I replied.

It was our Friday night ritual to go bowling with John and the boys. Nobody ever missed our Friday night hang out session for fear the other people would kick the crap out of you.

"You ready to go home sis?" Ashley asked as she slung her arm across my shoulders.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I asked looking at her.

It was obvious that she was drunk which was nothing new but I never thought my sister would actually get drunk during school hours.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You are drunk!" I softly exclaimed.

Ashley laughed a little "I am not".

We could barely walk out of the school normally. Our house was a 10 minute walk from school but it would have taken us a lot longer if I hadn't run into John's brother Matt who gave us a ride home.

"So she's drinking during school hours?" Matt asked as we sat on the front porch.

"I guess so" I replied.

"This Ben guy is a really bad influence on her" he said "she is 14 for Christ's sake!"

"I know" I said "but what are we going to do?"

"We can't just let him ruin her life" he said.

"And here I thought that John was the one going to ruin her life" I said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Ashley has had a crush on John for years… well that was until she met Ben" I informed him.

"Wow totally missed that one" he said.

"She's very secretive that way" I said.

"Well I'd better get home and finish my homework before tonight" He said.

"Ok see ya later" I replied.

It was about 8:30 that night and Ashley was getting ready.

"Ash we're gonna be late if you don't move it" I yelled.

She walked out of the bathroom.

"I'm not going tonight I have a date with Ben" she informed me.

"But Ashley we always go bowling on Friday with the boys" I pointed out.

"Yeah well that was before I'm with Ben now and I want to be with him" she replied.

"Fine whatever" I said as I left the house.

I met up John and the rest of the guys just outside the bowling alley.

"Where is Ashley?" John asked.

"She's with Ben" I replied.

John got this incredibly angry look on his face but he quickly shook it off.

"Well why are we standing out here let's bowl" he said.

About a half hour into the game John excused himself saying he didn't feel well. I went along with him figuring if he didn't feel well it would be better if he wasn't walking the streets alone. We had just come up onto our street, we could see Ashley and Ben just up ahead. They looked to be arguing but then he punched her in the face. In a split second John had left my side, he was kicking the shit out of Ben. I ran to my fallen sister she was bleeding from her nose and her lip, her jaw was swelling already.

"John she's unconscious" I yelled.

John stopped hitting Ben long enough to look over at Ashley. He let go of Ben's collar and let him drop to the ground.

"If you ever come near her again I will kill you" John's voice was deadly.

"Fine man whatever, the bitch wasn't worth my time anyways" Ben said staggering to his feet.

"She needs to get to a hospital" I said.

"Run in the house and call an ambulance" John ordered.

I left Ashley side and ran into the house. I called an ambulance and ran back outside. John was sitting with Ashley, he was running his hands through her hair.

"She's awake" he said to me.

"I should wait for my parents to get home" I said.

"I'll go with her" John said.

I nodded. The ambulance came and they loaded Ashley into it, John took the seat next to her. He never let go of her hand. When John found out I was writing this book he wrote down what happened next for me.

_The whole ride I was scared to death. I was so afraid that she was going to die. I swore to God that if he kept her alive that I would tell her how much she meant to me and never let her go._

_We arrived at the hospital and they rushed her away somewhere. I sat there for about 45 minutes before they would tell me anything and the only reason they did was because I lied and told them I was her brother._

"_Mr. Mercer?" the doctor asked._

"_Yeah" I replied._

"_Your sister has suffered a concussion and a broken nose" the doctor said. "can you tell me what happened?"_

"_Her twin sister and I were walking home and we saw Ashley with her boyfriend, he hit her and she fell and hit her head on the sidewalk"_

"_She was bleeding from the back of her head we had to put stitches in" the doctor told me._

"_Is she going to die?" I asked him._

"_Of course not" he replied with a laugh._

"_Can I see her?"_

"_I don't see why not" the doctor said. "when are your parents going to get here?"_

"_My sister is waiting for them at home, they should be here soon" I said._

_The doctor showed me where Ashley was and I just sat there watching her sleep. I was so greatful that she was going to be ok. She started to stir._

"_Hey" she said._

"_Hi" I replied._

"_Did you get the number of the truck that hit me?" she asked._

"_Sorry I didn't" I joked._

"_Aww well there is always next time" she said._

"_What were you and Ben arguing about?" I asked._

_Ashley sighed and thought about it for a while._

"_He wanted to do stuff that I didn't" she finally said._

"_He was a jerk anyways" I said "you can find someone so much better"._

"_I don't know" she said._

"_What if I were to tell you that I wanted to be your boyfriend?" I asked._

"_I'd have to say I accept and what the hell took you so long" she replied._

"_Let's just say it took a punch in the face to get me to wake up" I said._

_She yawned "Painkillers are working nicely I can barely keep my eyes open"_

"_So go to sleep" I said._

"_You know I hate hospitals" she said._

"_How about if I lay with you till your parents get here" I suggested._

"_That'd make me feel better" she said._

_I laid down next to her and put one arm around her. It didn't take her long to fall asleep, I guess I was more tired than I thought because I fell asleep also. The next thing I knew Ashley's dad Russell was shaking me awake._

"_What time is it?" I asked._

"_10:30 in the morning, and your parents were going crazy looking for you" Russell replied._

_I quickly shot out of the bed._

"_10:30 i…in the m…morning" I stammered._

"_Oh yeah you've been here all night son" Lisa(Ashley's mother) said._

"_How long have you guys been here?" I asked._

"_Since about 2 this morning and let me just say you are impossible to wake up when you don't want to be" Russell said._

_I smiled weakly._

"_I'm going to get it so badly when I get home" I said._

"_No you won't we called your mom and dad and told them where you were" Lisa said. "they were just mad that you didn't call"_

"_If I was thinking clearly I would have" I said._

"_What happened?" Russ asked._

_I explained to them all of what happened last night. Russ shook my hand when he found out about the beating I gave Ben._

"_My little girl is lucky to have you around John" Russ said._

"_I will always be around if she will let me" I replied._

_If only that were true…_


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4: Goodbye Isn't Forever_

_August 1992_

It was the summer leading into Ashley and my sophomore year. John was going to be a junior this year. He and Ashley had spent every moment they could together since they had gotten together 8 months before. It was an ordinary day I was playing a game of checkers with Lucas. Ashley was laying with John on the porch swing. They both had their eyes closed enjoying each other's company.

Mom came outside, "John your mother just called she wants you to get home right away"

"I wonder what she wants" John said as he got up.

"You want me to come with you?" Ashley asked.

"Of course I do" John kissed her forehead.

They walked away holding hands.

"I still think it's gross when they do that" Lucas said.

"You aren't the only one little brother now move a checker before I get bored at start flicking them at you".

Lucas being a rather immature 8 year old stuck his tongue out at me then moved his checker. I ended up winning the game.

Ashley came home a little while later looking gloomy. I opted to ask her what was wrong, of course she snapped at me. I sighed and took it. Sometimes I wondered what it would be like if Ashley and I were close, but the more I tried the more she pulled away.

She went inside the house and about an hour later Maddie showed up. Maddie was Ashley's closest confidant.

"What's up?" I asked Maddie.

"Apparently John has been accepted to a boarding school at the beginning of the next school year" Maddie explained.

"She must be really upset because those two are practically joined at the hip" I said.

"She has had her better moments" Maddie said.

"We should kick my parents and Lucas out of the house and have an all girl slumber party to try to cheer her up" I suggested.

"That might not be a bad idea" Maddie agreed.

So it was decided I asked my parents to take Lucas out to dinner and then to a movie. Of course I had to explain to them the problem. They agreed but they made me promise that we wouldn't make a mess and there were absolutely no boys in the house.

My parents left and Maddie and I had to drag Ashley from our room.

"Ash this is the best medicine" Maddie said.

"How is this the best medicine, it's the same tired stuff we do all the time?" Ashley asked.

"Addie can you please help me?" Maddie asked.

"I have to agree Ash I mean you still have me and Maddie to keep you company and it's not like he is moving to England or anything" I said.

"But I won't be able to see him everyday" she whined.

"That could be a good thing I mean you could meet new friends or join a sports team" I suggested.

"This is not helping" Ashley said.

"Addie has a point"

It was kinda funny we all had nicknames, Madeline was Maddie, my name was Adrian but everyone called me Addie, Ashley was Ash to everyone except John who called her Shel. We were in the middle of watching Dirty Dancing when there was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it.

"John you shouldn't be here" I said. "my parents said no boys"

"So" he smiled.

"Fine whatever I know nothing" I said letting him in.

He walked into the living room.

"Hey" he said nervously.

I sat down next to Maddie who was currently glaring at John.

"Hi" Ashley replied.

"Can we talk…in private?" he asked.

"No whatever you gotta say you can say in front of us" Maddie said.

"Yeah sure John let's go to my room" Ashley said.

"What the fuck!" Maddie exclaimed. "how are we gonna know what they are saying?"

"Maddie you are an idiot" I said. I went into a draw in the kitchen and pulled out Lucas's old baby monitor.

"You are smart" Maddie said.

"Yep and now you get to turn the other one on" I smirked.

"Where is it?" she asked.

"It's next to my bed" I replied.

I turned our monitor on and waited patiently to hear voices. I heard the click and then I heard Maddie excusing herself from the room.

"You sure this is gonna work?" Maddie asked when she returned downstairs.

"Shh, I'm trying to listen" I said.

"_Shel I know you are mad that I didn't tell you about Cushing Academy but I really didn't think I was gonna get in" John explained._

"_But you did and now you are leaving" Ashley remarked._

"_We still have 2 weeks to be together" John reasoned._

"_How do I know you won't find someone better than me?" Ashley asked. Her voice was cracking a little._

"_Baby there is no one better than you…I love you" he said._

"_Oh John I love you too" Ashley said happily._

Maddie and I turned off the monitor when we heard them start kissing.

"I can't believe he told her he loved her" Maddie said "that was so romantic"

"Damn makes you kinda wish you had a man doesn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah… hey wait a minute that made me sound kinda desperate" Maddie said.

"You said it not me" I replied.

"Well what about you?" Maddie asked.

"Don't tell anyone but Marc asked me to be his girlfriend" I gushed happily.

"Are you freakin serious!" Maddie exclaimed.

"Maddie you are a year younger than me and Ash wait a little while" I said.

"No, Ash is dating Cena and you have the cousin… what about me?" Maddie asked.

"Chill" I said.

"I wonder what they are doing up there" Maddie said.

"I don't think I want to know" I said.

The next morning Maddie and I got our answer. Ashley and John did absolutely nothing. It's actually a funny story, they fell asleep and my parents found them like that. Let's just say Ashley and I were grounded for a while for having a boy in the house. But I was happy knowing my sister was happy.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: This chapter does contain some sexual references._

_Chapter 5: Soul Mates_

_February 1993_

John left for school, Ashley was depressed but she lived. He was home every other weekend and for a while that seemed to be enough. Valentine's day was coming up and Ashley hadn't heard from John all week. She was getting more and more irritated by the day. So finally Valentine's day was here. John's brothers Matt and Steve came over at about 3 saying that John called and said he couldn't make it to home to spend the day with Ashley. They told her that they felt bad and were taking her to a movie. If she was thinking correctly she would have seen right through this act, now Matt would do something like that but Steve wouldn't. Of course she didn't want to go but they were very persuasive what I mean by this is that Steve literally threw her over his shoulder and carried her out of the house. Matt winked at me on the way out, I knew something had been planned. Years later as I was sifting through my sister's things I found a dairy that she had left. In it she talked about what happened on her and John's first Valentine's day.

_I sat in the backseat of Matt's car. I was less than thrilled that John wasn't coming home. In the back of my mind I was always afraid that he would find someone better than me but he always told me that would never happen. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even notice where I was. The car stopped and I got out of the car._

"_Guys where are we?" I asked. _

"_You'll see" Steve replied putting a blind fold on me._

"_What the hell is going on!" I exclaimed "and what is with the blind fold?"_

_Matt gently led me into the building. About halfway inside the building we met up with John who was grinning from ear to ear. John took over leading me the rest of the way to our destination._

"_What the hell guys haven't I been through enough, John is too busy to spend time with his girlfriend and now you two idiots are kidnapping me" I complained. I still had no idea that Matt and Steve had left and it was now John who was guiding me somewhere._

_John said nothing he just kept leading me. Finally he stopped me from moving. He nudged me forward I guessed at that point that I was being led into a room. He took the blindfold off but the light of the room hurt my eyes so I kept them closed._

"_Open you eyes" he whispered._

_I did and a smile instantly appeared on my face. I threw my arms around John's neck._

"_I'm guessing you missed me" he said._

"_You are a jerk, I was really upset when I thought I wasn't going to see you" I said._

"_Now did you really think I would let my girlfriend be alone on V-tine's day?" he asked._

"_No" I replied._

_I looked around the room._

"_It's not as nice as my room at home but it serves it's purpose" John said._

"_So your idiot brothers brought me to your school?" Ashley asked._

"_Yes I have the next day and a half all planned out" John said._

"_Do my parents know I'll be spending the night here?" she asked._

"_Yes but I told them that you'd be staying with a female friend of mine named Liz" John replied._

"_So Boo Berry what do you want to do first?" I asked._

"_Shel, you know you aren't supposed to call me that when people are around to hear" John said._

"_But I call you Boo Berry because you are sweet like the cereal" I said._

"_What ever and I want to do anything as long as it is with you" he said._

"_I just want to spend the day with you I don't care if we don't leave this room" I said._

"_I was hoping you would say that so I paid my roommate Rob $50 so he'd stay away from the room while you are here" John told me._

_I laughed "you are a naughty boy aren't you?"_

"_I didn't say a word I just wanted to be with you… we don't have to do anything if you don't feel ready" he said._

"_John I may be young but I know that I will love you for the rest of my life" I said " you are the only person I want to give my whole self to"_

"_Are you really sure?" he asked._

_I took a deep breath and nodded._

"_I'm new at this too so don't be scared" John said._

"_I'm not scared" I replied._

_The thought of sex scared and interested me at the same time. I was scared to death of that connection that giving yourself to another person involved. But I trusted John with everything in me._

_He pulled me into his arms. His lips met mine but unlike all the other times we had kissed it kiss was harsh and demanding, the hungry and lustful side of John was coming out. I pulled away from him._

"_I'm sorry" he said._

"_It's ok I just need a minute" I said._

"_We don't …" I placed my finger over his lips._

"_I want to but let's just take it slow"_

_Lying in John's arms later on I thought about what we had done. It was awkward and very painful but I was glad that it was with John. I don't think I will ever regret this moment because I know that John and I are soul mates and that is all that matters._


	6. Chapter 6

_Diclaimer: Ok I forgot to do this for the first 5 chapters but I only own the characters that you don't recognize. Everyone else owns themselves._

_Chapter 6 : This is How the Heart Breaks_

_December 1993_

Christmas was in one day and of course Ashley waited to the last minute to shop for John's present. Marc and I decided to go with her.

"Marc, what do you think John would like?" Ashley asked.

"Get him anything I know he'll love it because you bought it" Marc replied some what hesitantly.

"You ok sweetie?" I asked.

Marc gave me a half smile, I knew something was up. Ashley finally picked out a gift for John, she bought him a Rolex. Marc drove us home, Ashley happily went to our room to wrap the gifts she had bought. Marc and I sat in the kitchen drinking hot chocolate.

"Seriously what is wrong with you?" I asked after a considerable silence.

" I know something and it involves Ashley and my cousin, it's not good" he said.

"What is going on?" I asked already knowing what he is about to say.

"You know his friend Liz?" Marc asked.

I had never met Liz but I had heard about her on many occasions aka when Ashley was bitching about her and John not being able to spend some alone time because John always wanted to hang out with Liz too.

"Yes" I replied.

"Well apparently John has been wanting to get with her for a while but he doesn't know how to break up with Ash" Marc explained.

"Oh my God! I am going to beat the shit out of him and his new plaything" I yelled/

"You can't" Marc said "we aren't supposed to know"

"So what I'm supposed to let my sister get her heart broken?" I asked.

"You have to" Marc said "and believe me I don't like this anymore than you do"

I was so frustrated at this moment John was going to hurt my sister and there was nothing I could do about it.

"I'll see you later tonight" Marc said.

I nodded and Marc kissed me on the cheek before leaving. Ashley entered the kitchen, she grabbed a soda and had a seat next to me.

"You look irritated what did Marc do now" Ashley said.

"Ashley we are sister right?" I asked.

"Last time I checked" she replied.

"You know you can talk to me about anything right?" I asked.

"Addie, you are scaring me" Ashley joked.

"Damn it I am serious!" I yelled.

"Ok something is up, what do you know?" she asked.

"Maybe we could stay in tonight and watch movies" I suggested.

"What are you talking about… John will be home tonight and besides when have we ever not spent Christmas eve with John's family, Carol and John are like mom and dad's best friends"

That Christmas eve seemed to takes days to end. John came over at about 6 and asked if Ashley wanted to take a walk. I watched her from our bedroom window she was smiling but her face when she came home was nothing like that.

"You knew" she said when she got home.

"Marc told me this afternoon I wanted to tell you but you wouldn't have believed me even if I did" I replied.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked.

"I don't even know where to start… it's like my mind understands what is going on but my heart doesn't"

I could see that she was desperately trying not to cry, I wanted to cry for her.

"He isn't worth it" I said.

"I want to believe you but it hurts too much right now" Ashley said.

It took Ashley a long time to get over John, it seemed like she never would. But then one day she woke up and decided to live again. I think Maddie living with us helped out a lot. Her parents had been killed in a car accident and our mom and dad adopted her, they had always said she was like another daughter to them anyways. Ashley went on to go to Tufts Medical School in Medford Massachusetts and she got her bachelor's degree in medicine. She became a physical therapist. John's football skills got him into Springfield collage. He and Liz dated for 6 years and were engaged, to this day I don't know why he called it off and I really don't care. John was never my favorite person and he probably never will be, we have our issues with each other. But you have no idea what I am talking about but you will.


	7. Chapter 7

_I only own Ashley, Adrian, Lucas, and the parents _

_Chapter 7: The Return_

_June 1999_

Ashley was home for about a week our father was very sick so she had left her house in "The Lawrence Estates", which was the snobbishly rich side of Medford, to spend time with him. I lived in New York at the time but I was also home. This was the first time I had seen my sister in almost 2 years. We both had jobs that kept us busy, I myself was a lawyer for a prominent law firm in New York City. I arrived a day before she did. Lucas and Maddie were hanging around when I got home. Maddie was completing her last year at UCLA.

I was sitting around waiting for my sister, a car pulled into the driveway. I leaned against the doorway. Ashley stepped out of the car. Her hair was a deep auburn color.

"Adrian, my favorite sister how are you?" Ashley asked as she pulled me into a hug.

"What did you do to your hair?" I asked.

"I needed a change" she replied.

We walked into the house our mother hugged Ashley tightly.

"Your father is going to bed glad you are here" she said.

Ashley smiled weakly at our mother, everyone knew that the strong Russell Mercer was dying but nobody had the heart to say it out loud.

Ashley walked into the bedroom. Our father was hooked up to a machine to help his breathing.

"Hey daddy" Ashley said softly.

Dad removed the mask from over his mouth.

"Always knew cigarettes would be the death of me" he said.

He started having a coughing fit so he had to put the mask back on.

"Rest now daddy I'll be here when you wake up" she kissed his forehead.

It was funny how one day our father was a healthy 54 year old man and now he could barely breath on his own.

"How long does he have left?" Ashley asked when we were outside of the room.

"Doctors say a month or two" I replied.

"Mom should have called me sooner maybe there is something I could have done… a treatment maybe" Ashley ran a hand through her hair.

"Ash dad is dying and there is nothing we can do about it" I said "just accept that fact and enjoy the time we have left with him"

"I'm going for a walk" Ashley stated before walking out the front door.

She had gotten halfway down the driveway when a car came speeding out of nowhere almost hitting her. Ashley jumped out of the way just in time.

John got out of the car " I am so sorry"

"No harm done" Ashley said brushing herself off.

"No it's not Shel it's not ok I could have killed you" John said.

"I'm ok so just drop it" Ashley snapped.

"What brings you back here?" John asked.

"My dad is dying I need to be with him right now" She replied.

"You know it isn't the same without you around here" he said.

"That's nice but the last time I checked I'm pretty sure I hate you" she said.

"Come on Shel don't be like that" John said.

"First off it's Ashley to you… you lost the right to call me Shel when you tossed me aside" Ashley spat "second … tell me John what was it that you told me… oh yes I believe it was I just don't love you anymore"

John stood there looking at the ground.

"So please give me one good reason why I should even be having this conversation with you"

"We used to be best friends" John said.

"Yeah well there is a saying never date your best friend because if it ends badly there goes the friendship" Ashley said "guess you missed that one huh"

"I don't even know why I bother to try you haven't changed at all" he said.

"That is where you are wrong John I have changed" Ashley said "I worked my ass off in medical school to earn a degree and I live in a nice neighborhood and probably make more in a week than you do in a year"

"Life isn't always about money" he said.

"Well then what is it about and if you say love I will throw up right here because you aren't capable of loving anyone"

"I loved you" he said.

"You had a funny way of showing it" she retorted.

"So I screwed up I was fucking 16 years old!" John exclaimed "I may have ended it wrong but at least I can say that I was always faithful to you"

"I'd love to believe you but you see I can't because you lied to me all those times when you said you loved me and that seems to stick out more than the fact that you were faithful to me"

"How is it that you are 22 years old and still acting like a child?" John asked.

"A CHILD… A FUCKING CHILD YOU CAN'T KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS BUT I'M THE CHILD" Ashley yelled.

John tried his best to contain himself but he had always loved when Ashley was mad, she had this fire in her eyes when she was yelling at him. Without thinking he kissed her. She pushed him away.

"Stay away from me" she said walking back towards the house.


	8. Chapter 8

Russell Charles Mercer died on July 17 1999. Mom as a complete mess, she would just walk around and not say a word to anyone. Ashley put all her time and energy on the funeral. But that was vintage Ashley doing things to distract herself so she wouldn't have to admit her true feelings.

After the funeral we went back to the house. I noticed Ashley looked extremely uncomfortable.

"You ok?" I asked

"There are just too many people in here it's kinda hard to breathe" she replied.

Ashley had suffered from claustrophobia her whole life so I knew that having this many people in one house must be killing her.

"Step outside for a while" I suggested.

She agreed to go sit on the porch.

Ashley sat absent-mindedly staring at the road. Out of us 4 kids Ashley was the closest to our father.

"You know I really hate ties" John said sitting down next to her.

Ashley didn't reply she just sat there looking into the distance.

"How are you holding up?" John asked.

"My father just died how do you think I'm holding up" Ashley replied not looking at him.

"The cold unfeeling act doesn't work on me, I know you so much better than that" John said.

"He was 54 years old" Ashley whispered "he still has so much to live for"

John wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into an embrace. She cried for the first time since dad had died.

"Let it out" John said rubbing her back.

"I'm mad at him for dying and I'm mad at myself for not being here more" she cried.

"He knew you loved him" John said.

"I don't know what I am going to do… mom is a mess and she can't even take care of herself anymore"

"You don't have to deal with this all on your own" John told her.

"Adrian is going back to New York and Maddie goes back to school and Lucas does his own thing. It's just going to be me and her" Ashley said.

"So are you moving back?" John asked.

"What other choice do I have mom has literally had a nervous breakdown to the point she can't even feed herself" she replied.

"I'm always here if you need me" he said.

"That's a nice offer but I can't accept that" Ashley said finally pulling away from him.

"Please don't close up on me again" John begged.

"I don't know what else to do I don't want to feel anymore" she said.

"What happened to us, we were almost something great" he said.

"Almost doesn't count John" Ashley said walking into the house.


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter 9: The Line Between Love and Hate_

_July 1999_

Ashley sold her house and moved back to West Newbury. Doctors said that there was nothing wrong with our mother, that she was just deeply depressed and that if she didn't start taking care of herself properly she would die too. I think that is what she wanted so then she would be with dad again. Much to my dismay Ashley and John had been spending a lot of time together. Honestly I thought that my sister could do so much better than John but hey it wasn't my life. I was home for 2 weeks helping out with mom. Ashley was getting frustrated with her.

"It's like taking care of a god damn baby" Ashley said.

"She's sick Ash" I replied.

"It's her own fault that she is like this" Ashley said.

"Don't you see that Ma you have 4 kids who need you" Ashley yelled.

"Leave her alone" I ordered.

"No, huh Ma are you really that selfish… fine you know what go ahead and die" Ashley continued to yell.

"I said stop it" I shoved Ashley a little.

We both laughed about it later but at the time it was like we were little kids again. Our mother had been sitting in a chair watching us blankly. But it was almost as if seeing us fighting flipped a switch in her brain.

"ADRIAN ELIZABETH! ASHLEY MICHELLE, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW" she yelled.

We both stopped and looked at her.

" What the hell is the matter with you two?" she asked "both of you are 22 years old try acting like it"

"She's back" Ashley said in a sing song voice.

"Now both of you get out of my sight" she said.

"Who would have thought our fighting would make her snap out of her misery" I said.

"She always loved yelling at us as kids so it really doesn't surprise me" Ashley replied.

"Hello ladies" John said.

"Hi" I replied coolly.

"Hey Johnny" Ashley said.

"What are you guys so happy about?" he asked.

"Mom decided to join the living again" Ashley answered.

"That's good" he said.

"Yes it is" Ashley said.

"Addie do you think I could talk to you in private?" John asked.

"Umm ok" I said.

"I'll just go make sure mom… well I'll just go check on her" Ashley said.

"What do you want Cena?" I asked.

"You always were a person who like to get right to the point" John said.

"Just get on with it" I said.

"I want to ask Ashley out and since you are the older sister I wanted to get your ok first" he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I know you don't like me" he said "but I honestly care for your sister and it would be uncomfortable for Ashley if you weren't ok with us dating again"

"You broke her heart once before how can I trust you?" I asked.

"I was 16 years old I didn't know what I wanted" he replied.

"Go ahead ask her out but I swear Cena, if you ever hurt her again I will make you pay in ways you don't even want to imagine"

"I have no doubt in that" John said

"I'm serious Cena you break my little sister's heart I'll break you"

John did ask my sister out and they generally seemed happy. John moved to California to pursue a career in body building, he took Ashley with her. Ashley was almost 24 now and she wanted some stability in her life… you know marriage and kids. John on the other hand was a loose cannon. His good looks and great body got him noticed quickly. His career was just beginning, he'd come home from bars at 3 in the morning completely drunk. Ashley never said a word about it because she was too in love with him to see his flaws. John needed to decide what was more important, his career or Ashley, and decide he did…


	10. Chapter 10

_Chapter 10: The Making of a Star_

_June 2002_

The day I found out that John was going to become a professional wrestler I laughed my ass off. At that time I didn't have the appreciation for wrestling that I do now. I thought he was too lazy to get a real job. Ashley was visiting me in New York at the time. It was 8 o'clock and we were flipping through the channels.

"Wait stop" Ashley said.

I groaned as the opening credits started for Smackdown.

"Do we really have to watch this?" I asked.

"Yes, John is going to make his debut tonight" she replied.

"Yes that is exactly what I want to see, Wonder Boy in a Speedo" I said.

"First off they don't wear Speedos because that is just nasty and there is a lot more to wrestling than you give it credit for" She said "John busted his ass to get this contract and I am so proud of him"

"I talked to our younger sister today she has a new boyfriend" I said.

"Yeah I know his name is Randy he's a friend of John's I set them up" Ashley smiled. "you know Addie you could use a new guy I mean seriously when was the last time you got laid?"

"That is none of your business"

"We're twins of course it's my business" Ashley said.

I rolled my eyes "About 2 months ago".

"Really that long ago?" Ashley asked.

"I'm going to let that comment slide because I know you live with John who can't go more than five minutes without sex"

"That is a lie!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Think what you want little sister, I know the truth" I said.

"Shh, look there John is all coming out to wrestle his first match" Ashley said giddily.

"Who's the guy he is wrestling?" I asked.

"Kurt Angle" she replied.

"He's kinda cute" I said.

Ashley stuck her finger down her throat and made gagging sounds.

"He's married" she finally said.

"I never said I wanted to date him, he just has nice eyes" I said.

We watched the match in comfortable silence. I will admit I was impressed with John's in ring ability, but of course I would never tell him that.

"I should call him and see how he is" Ashley said.

"Can't it wait till the morning" I begged "let's have a completely guy free night"

"Sure I guess" Ashley agreed.

Ashley and I had so much fun that night. We talked about everything.

"Sometimes I think John doesn't care" Ashley admitted.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Sometimes he can go days without calling or he'll come home a day later" she said "he isn't the same guy he was, I mean I love him and I know he loves me I just wish he would show it more"

Her cell phone rang and she got up to answer it.

"Hey honey" Ashley said.

"Yeah, Addie and I watched" she replied "of course you looked sexy"

I wanted to throw up John was just way too much.

"So when are you getting home?" Ashley asked "ok"

She hung up the phone and returned to her seat on the couch.

"He'll be home Saturday" she told me.

"So how is work going?" I asked her.

"Good, I'm actually thinking of going back to school to become a orthopedic surgeon" she said.

"You should" I said.

"John thinks I should travel with him"

"Ashley don't you dare, you have a career, please don't give it up for him"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ashley asked.

"You said it yourself he isn't the same guy, do you remember when he beat up Ben Davis because he hit you. I could respect him then but now I don't think so"

"Addie you don't understand" Ashley tried to reason.

"How is it that you have been together for almost 3 years and he hasn't said a word about marriage?" I asked.

"He just doesn't want to rush into things" she assured me.

Ashley didn't talk much after that. She wasn't the same person I remembered when we were kids. My once self sufficient sister now lived for John's happiness which wasn't healthy.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: This chapter is in Ashley's point of view.

_Chapter 11: The Man He Wasn't_

_October 2004_

_Dear Diary,_

_I just found out today that I am about 2 months pregnant, I am so incredibly happy right now. I haven't told John yet but I'm not too worried about his reaction. Although we have never talked about children I know he'll want a son, most men do. I really don't care what we have as long as the baby is happy and healthy._

_Ashley_

John was home and I had planned a little day trip to a cranberry marsh in Vermont. Driving to Vermont was so much fun it seemed like old times. John was being particularly stupid. But I didn't mind because he seemed happy that I was laughing.

"So Tripmaster what's on the agenda?" he asked.

"We are gonna see the marsh, then I figured we could just drive around and admire the foliage because Vermont is so beautiful this time of year" I replied.

"As long as I'm with you then it doesn't matter what we do" he said.

He grabbed my hand with his free one and we just drove like that. The marsh was cool, we ended up getting into a cranberry fight. It was John's fault he was the one who started it. He was grinning and it was at that moment I tried to imagine what our child would look like. I hoped he or she would have John's amazing blue eyes.

"You seem quiet" he said.

"I'm just tired" I replied.

"Well there is a bed and breakfast about 10 minutes up the road let's stay there" he suggested.

"Ok" I replied.

We checked in and changed. There was a back porch with a beautiful view. John and I sat on the porch for a long time. I had almost fallen asleep when I felt myself being picked up. My eyes shot open just in time to see myself land in a pile of leaves. John stood there playfully smirking.

"What the hell I was almost asleep" I complained.

I stood up and pushed him into the leaves, he grabbed me so we both fell. I threw a few leaves at him. He retaliated, we played in the leaves for an hour. After a while we got really tired so we just laid there.

"I'm pregnant" I accidentally blurted out.

He looked at me for a minute, he seemed to be processing what I had told him.

"So am I supposed to believe it's mine" he finally said.

"What… why wouldn't this baby be yours?" I asked.

"I use a condom every time we have sex" he said.

"So condoms break" I said

"You are a fucking lair and I want nothing to do with you or this kid" John got up and walked to the car.

I honestly couldn't believe he had just done that. I did the only thing I could think of doing I called my sister and asked her to come get me.


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter 12: New Roommates _

When we got back to my apartment Ashley had a seat on the couch. Ashley was white as a ghost. She hadn't said a word since I hung up the phone with her.

"Ashley what was so important I had to pick you up from Vermont?" I asked.

"You were right" she said.

"Right about what?" I asked.

"John and I aren't together anymore. I told him I was pregnant and he totally flipped out"

"Oh Ash come here" I hugged her tightly. "I didn't want to be right"

"What am I going to do I can't raise a baby by myself?" she asked.

"You are moving in with me and I don't want to hear anything about it" I said.

"Addie I couldn't" she said.

"Yes you could I have 2 extra bedrooms and it'd be fun having a little niece or nephew running around" I said.

"If you really want us"

"Now I'm going to call Lucas and have him get your stuff from John's house" I told me.

"Ok thanks I'm going to go lay down" she said.

"Hey Luke, It's Adrian I need you to do me a favor" I said into the phone.

I told Lucas the story and he agreed to pick up Ashley's stuff.

"By the way if Cena happens to be there giving him a broken nose would be a good thing" I said.

Lucas laughed "will do" he said "I'll bring Damian with me"

I laughed because my cousin Damian had a very interesting job, he was in the "coffee business" aka a mob enforcer. Yes he was the Italian version of Jason Morgan. If anyone was going to make John pay it would be him.

I checked on Ashley before I went to the store. I bought enough junk food to kill 4 people, I figured she'd be upset about John leaving plus she was pregnant… it seemed like the right thing to do.

She was just getting out of the shower when I got home.

"What'd you buy?" she asked.

"All the junk food a pregnant woman would want" I replied.

"You know you're not helping my cause" she said grabbing the canister of Cheese Balls.

She popped a handful into her mouth.

"What I love Cheese Balls" she said.

"I didn't say a word" I replied.

"You were thinking something"

"Yeah like how are we going to tell mom about the baby without her killing John with her bare hands" I said.

"I plan on telling all of the baby's grandparents at the same time" She said.

"You are going to tell Carol and John?" I asked.

"Of course they have the right to know about their grandchild and to be in his or her life" she said.

"You are a lot braver then I would be" I said.

About 2 weeks later Ashley and I went back to Massachusetts to tell everyone the news. Ashley seemed calm on the outside but I knew better to think that.

"You sure about this?" I asked.

"It's not like they are going to put me in prison" she replied.

"I was just trying to help" I said.

"I know you were but this isn't about what you or I want this is about what is best for the child"

We pulled into the driveway of our childhood home. The lights in the living room were on. Everyone was waiting in that room to hear my sister's news.

After everyone was sitting down in the living room Ashley began to speak.

"I know you guys are probably wondering why I called you all here" she said.

"Adrian called and said it was urgent are you ok?" mom asked.

"Physically I'm fine mentally I'm not doing so well" she said "I don't know if John has told you but we aren't together anymore"

"What… when did this happen?" Carol asked. I think she was hoping that John would finally settle down with Ashley.

"About a week ago" she replied "you see I told him I was pregnant and he broke it off"

"You are kidding right?" John Sr. asked.

"I wish I was" Ashley said.

"I can't believe he would do this" Carol was shocked. "I should beat the shit out of him"

"It isn't worth it I have accepted that he wants nothing to do with our child" Ashley said "but that doesn't mean you don't have a right to be in the baby's life"

"Of course we would want to be in our grandchild's life" Carol said.

"John isn't a bad guy he just has some major problems to work out" Ashley said.

I was amazed that even now Ashley was still defending John. She truly was an amazing person I could never to be able to do what she was doing. I can honestly say now that Ashley is my hero. Things in life are never easy but it seemed that Ashley got the short end of the stick all the time but it never broke her down and that quality is what makes people great.


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter 14: Family Time_

_December 2004_

Watching Ashley go through the various stages of her pregnancy made me vow never to have children. Don't get me wrong I love kids I'd just rather skip the 9 months of cravings, mood swings, constant peeing frenzies and morning sickness. One particular Thursday I walked into our living room to find Ashley watching Smackdown, as soon as she heard me come in she changed it to one of those really sad Lifetime Movies. I sat down next to her you could tell she had been crying.

"These sappy movies make me cry all the time" she said.

"Ashley I know you were watching Smackdown if you want to talk about him it's ok" I said.

"I'm not crying because I'm sad I'm crying because I am mad" she said "I'm mad at him for being such a jackass but I'm mad at myself for getting into this situation"

"My little niece or nephew is better off without having that ass as a role model in his or her life" I said.

"You tried to warn me so many times that John had changed but I was too stupid to see" she sniffled.

"Hey look at me" I lifted her chin so she my looking into my eyes. "you are not stupid you aren't even close to being stupid… yes I tried to warn you about John but part of me was hoping that he would grow up, look at you, you are having a baby all by yourself not many people can do it but I know you can"

"You really think I'm going to be a good mom?" she asked.

"Duh" I replied.

"Thanks Addie" she said "you've been taking care of me my whole life haven't you?"

"That is what older sisters do" I said.

"You are only older by two minutes" she pointed out.

"Older is older" I commented.

"I should really pick out some names for this little one" Ashley said rubbing the little belly that she had. She was only 4 months pregnant then.

"If it's a boy you should name him Derek after that hottie of a shortstop the Yankees have" I suggested.

"I am not naming my son after Derek Jeter just because you are in love with him" she said.

"I am not in love with him"

"Oh Derek marry me and let me bare your children" Ashley said in a high-pitched voice. She threw her hand on her forehead for the dramatic effect.

"I do not sound like that" I insisted. "and I am not in love with him"

"Are you telling me that if Derek Jeter was at the door and he said he wanted you right her and now you'd say no?" Ashley said.

"That is exactly what I'd say" I replied.

"LIAR!" Ashley exclaimed.

"Go eat something" I said.

"Now Adrian that hurt" Ashley put her hand over her heart.

"Knock it off before I pop you one" I remarked.

"Are you telling me you would hit your pregnant sister?" She asked.

"If you don't shut up yes I will"

"You hear that sweetie your auntie wants to hit me you'd better be good otherwise she'll beat you" Ashley said to her growing stomach.

"Don't say that" I told her.

"I don't want to go to work tomorrow" she whined.

"So stay home" I said.

"I can't my office doesn't like the fact that I'm taking off time after the baby is born if I take days off before this I'll probably get fired" she said.

"They won't fire you you're the best therapist they have in that place" I told her.

"Yes I am very good at what I do" she said.

There was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it god forbid you get off the couch or anything" I said.

"Hey I'm pregnant I have to relax" was her comeback.

I shook my head sometimes I don't even know why I bother trying to argue with her. But truth be told I loved the fact that my sister was living with me. We are closer now than we have ever been. Sometimes we'd sit for hours reading the pregnancy books together… man looking back at those time really makes me see that I had the most boring life but hey we were happy.

I reached the front door and opened it. Maddie and her boyfriend Randy Orton were standing on the other side.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" I asked letting them in.

"Randy you had better brought the ice cream I asked you to get me" Ashley yelled from the living room.

"Get off your ass and come get it" Maddie yelled in return.

"I'm pregnant" Ashley yelled back.

"Does it look like I care" Maddie yelled again.

Ashley walked out into the kitchen and whacked Maddie in the back of her head.

"You are lucky you are having a baby because if you weren't I would have made you cry" Maddie said rubbing the back of her head.

"Sure Thumbelina you and what army" Ashley said grabbing a spoon before digging into her cookie dough ice cream.

"How you feeling today Ash?" Randy asked.

"I'm doing good today" she said.

"You find out what you are having?" Maddie asked.

"No I want it to be a surprise" she replied.

"Girl you are an idiot I would have found out so I know what to buy" Maddie said.

"I agree with Ashley it's better not to find out because it ruins the surprise of the whole pregnancy" Randy said.

"Who the hell asked you?" Maddie asked.

"Maddie leave poor Randy alone" I said.

"Can you believe this time next year we will be celebrating Christmas with the baby?" Ashley asked.

"You already know this baby is going to be spoiled" Maddie said.

"God help us" Ashley replied.

"It won't be that bad Ashley" Randy said.

"Oh sure you are going to be the cool uncle who brings a toy every time you come to visit Adrian and I are the ones who are going to have to deal with this child every single day" Ashley said.

"I was thinking you should name the baby Russell if it's a boy" Maddie suggested "after dad"

"I was thinking Russell Owen after our dad and brother" Ashley said.

"Wait a minute we had a brother named Owen?" Maddie asked.

"Yeah he died as a toddler and mom doesn't like to bring it up" I said.

"I feel like watching a Johnny Depp movie" Ashley announced.

"That new one where he plays a pirate looks good" Maddie said.

"Yes Pirates of the Caribbean very good movie" Ashley said.

"Well let's watch a movie" I said.

We all gathered around in the living room and watched Sleepy Hollow and A Perfect Storm. Ashley fell asleep during Sleepy Hollow but the rest of us stayed up. Once we where sure she was asleep before we started talking about John.

"So how is he?" I asked.

"I don't really know John is never serious long enough to get a real answer out of him" Randy answered.

"Does he seem even a little upset?" Maddie asked.

"Not really" Randy replied

"I talked to him the other day he seems to be holding up, of course he still has no idea that I'm dating Maddie so he hasn't brought anything up" Randy said.

"I talked to Carol yesterday he was home last week and didn't say a word" I said

"What an asshole" Maddie said "I should take Damian's 36 and pop a few caps in his ass"

"Maddie as much as that would make all of us feel better Ashley would be pissed" I reasoned.

"Yes she still isn't speaking to Damian for breaking 4 different bones in John's arm and his jaw" Maddie said.

Randy laughed "He just got the cast off of his arm 2 weeks ago, you know what he told every one he said he was in a car accident"

"Trust me if Damian had run him over the body would never be found" Maddie said.

"Yes it's good to have ties to the mob" I added.

"It's almost like he is blocking everything that has to do with the baby out of his head" Randy said.

"Like I told Ashley this baby is better off without him because he or she has so much love in it's life already" I said.

"Girl you don't even know" Maddie said.

"So when are you two getting married?" I asked.

"Wow where did that come from?" Randy asked.

"Well Ashley and I have a bet" I said. "she thinks you are never gonna propose but I say you will in about 10 years"

"It's nice this is what my own sister say about us" Maddie said.

"Get over is Maddie we are your sister so we have every right to comment on your love life it comes with the territory"

"Yeah well mind your own god damn business" Maddie remarked.

"Relax little sister" I replied.

"Well it's late" I said "I made the bed in the guest room"

"Addie you are going to need to get a bigger apartment when the baby gets here" Maddie said.

"Yeah I know I'm looking I'm thinking of moving to Long Island" she said.

"That would be nice" Maddie said.

"Randy do you think you could pick Ashley up and take her to her room?" I asked.

"Sure" Randy said as he picked Ashley up and walked away.

Randy walked down the hall and into the bed room. He laid Ashley down and put the blankets over her.

"I love you John" she mumbled in her sleep.

"He loves you too" Randy whispered "deep down he always will"

Randy didn't tell Maddie or me this until years later but he had talked to John on more than one occasion about Ashley. John had said that he made the biggest mistake of his life leaving Ashley but by the time he was ready to admit his mistake it was too late.


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter 14: More Family Bonding_

_February 2005_

"Addie where are you" Ashley yelled walking into the apartment.

"In my bedroom" I yelled back.

"Guess what" Ashley said.

"What?" I asked.

"Damn you are no fun you are supposed to make an outlandish guess before I tell you" Ashley complained.

"What is it that you have to tell me?" I asked.

"I quit my job" she replied.

"You what!" I exclaimed.

"Addie I work from 5am till 10:30 at night I'd never see the baby" Ashley said "I can collect unemployment till I deliver and then I can get a job working nights"

"What about your degree?" I asked.

"My degree will still be there when the baby starts school, my practice said that they will save me a spot when I'm ready to come back it's mine" Ashley answered.

"Well it seems like you have this all figured out but I too have some news, you know Tyler the realtor/musician who has been helping me look at houses?"

"I think I remember you mentioning him" Ashley said.

"Well he asked me out for tomorrow" I casually said.

"Thank the Lord I was afraid you had started to swing the other way" Ashley joked.

"Ha fucking ha, Maddie is right you are a total bitch"

"When the hell did Maddie call me a bitch?" Ashley asked.

"About a week ago" I replied.

"I'm going to kick her ass next time I see her and I'm not pregnant" Ashley said.

Ashley was almost 6 months now and she hated every minute of it.

"Another thing who the hell mad up the rule where people have to touch my stomach because I find it a violation of my personal space"

"Only you would find something wrong with that" I said.

"Are you telling me that if 20 million people came up to you and put their hands on your stomach that wouldn't bother you?" Ashley asked.

"Ok maybe it would" I said "but you only have 3 months left so deal with it"

"I can't believe we are moving next month" Ashley said.

"Yeah I'm gonna miss that apartment but between you and the baby plus Maddie and Randy we need more room besides we are going to be living in a house with a pool and we can put up swings" I said.

"Do you really think swings are a good idea remember what John and I were like as kids" Ashley reminded me.

"I can only imagine" I rolled my eyes "remind me to remove anything flammable from the house"

"Yo Addie where you at?" Maddie asked.

"Do you two plan your entrances" I asked Ashley.

"No" she said with a laugh.

Maddie and Randy walked into the room. They had seats one the bed. The first thing Randy went to do was to touch Ashley's stomach.

"Do it and pull back a bloody stub" Ashley said.

Randy quickly retracted his hand.

"Good boy" Ashley said.

Maddie and I laughed, Randy may seem tough on TV but in real life he was whipped.

"So why are you guys here it isn't like you don't have a house" I said.

"Shut up Addie" Madeline said "Randy and I have an announcement … were engaged"

After hugs were given around we hung around talking about stuff.

"Damn this kid kicks hard" Ashley said.

"Can I feel?" Randy asked.

Ashley grabbed his hand and placed it over where the baby was kicking.

"That is really cool" Randy said.

"You would think until its your kidneys the baby is playing soccer with" Ashley said.

"Yeah well men will never get to experience the feeling of having a life inside them" Randy said.

"Please if men could give birth the human race would die out" I remarked.

It was late in the evening Randy and Maddie were in bed. I went to go check on Ashley which was a new habit I had. She was sitting up in bed writing something.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I started keeping this journal a few days after I found out I was pregnant" she said "I figured it would be nice for the baby"

"That's sweet" I said.

"It's my way of apologizing for screwing up his or her life" Ashley said.

"Stop talking like that" I said "you are going to be a great mom"

"It means a lot to me that you think that" Ashley said "I might not say this enough but I love you sis"

"I love you too Slugger" I replied.

Ashley laughed when she heard the nickname our parents had given her.

I'd like to say that everything was perfect from this point on but that would have been a lie.


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter 15: Moving In_

_March 2005_

"You know Ashley you could at least pretend to help" Damian complained.

"Hey I made you lemonade didn't I" Ashley retorted.

The moving party consisted of me, Maddie, Randy, Lucas, Damian, and John's brother Matt. Matt was the only Cena brother that both Ashley and I kept in regular contact with.

"I'm telling you Ash you're having a boy" Matt insisted.

"I don't care what it is I just want it out" Ashley whined.

"2 more months" Damian said.

"You still painting the nursery?" Ashley asked Lucas.

Lucas who was currently attending Massachusetts School of Art was an amazing muralist.

"You ever notice how mom and dad had 4 really successful kids" Maddie pointed out "wait minus Ashley because she is unemployed"

"I'm unemployed because I want to be not because I screwed up" Ashley replied.

"Yeah keep telling yourself that" Maddie said.

"I haven't seen your name on any published books lately" Ashley said.

Maddie's credit as an author wasn't know until a few years later when she wrote "The Adventures of Boston Anthony" series.

"Addie you'd better get changed before Tyler gets here" Ashley advised.

I looked at my watched and cursed under my breath.

"Thanks Ash" I said running past her to my room to get changed.

Later that week…

"Ashley keep your eyes closed" Lucas scolded her as he lead her into the room that would be the nursery.

"Ok open them"

The room was painted blue and red, it was Redsox themed. Lucas had taken a picture of Fenway Park and recreated that onto the walls of the room.

"It's beautiful but don't you think it's a little masculine?" Ashley asked.

"No because I agree with Matt the baby is going to be a boy" he replied.

"What happened to my little brother now you are all old" Ashley said.

"I'm only 21 and who are you calling old you are turning 27 in December"

"Don't remind me" Ashley said.

"So Ashley have you given any thought about what the doctor told you the other day?" I asked.

"Is something the matter?" Lucas asked concerned.

"No the doctors just told me that it is unlikely that I will ever be able to carry another baby again" Ashley said.

"Why?" Lucas asked.

"I have cists on my ovaries they say in 5 years if I don't have a total hysterectomy I could develop cancer" Ashley answered.

"So what if you want other children?" Lucas asked.

"I can have some of my eggs harvested and surrogacy is the only option" Ashley said "but I don't know let's see how I am after this baby is born"

"Mom has been knitting the baby booties and sweaters" Lucas said.

Both Ashley and I groaned.

"Have you seen the stuff mom knits?" I asked "I wouldn't put it on my dog"

"Adrian we don't have a dog" Ashley said.

"You totally missed the point I was trying to make Ashley" I remarked.

"Well don't say we have a dog when we don't" Ashley said.

"Go lay down" I ordered.

"Fine maybe I will" Ashley yelled.

She got maybe 5 steps before she doubled over in pain.

"Oh my god Ashley" I yelled.

Within seconds I was at her side.

"It hurts" she cried.

"It's ok we're going to get you to the hospital" I said.

Lucas pulled the car around to the front. I helped Ashley into the backseat and sat with her holding her hand. She was trembling terribly, the fear that something was wrong was on all of our minds.

"Hold on Ash we're almost there" Lucas said.

"Hurry" Ashley begged.

We got her to the hospital and they rushed her to a room. It seemed like hours before we got any news. Finally a middle-aged doctor came over to us.

"Ms Mercer?" he asked.

"Yes how is my sister and the baby?" I asked.

"We managed to stop the labor" he said "has your sister been under a lot of stress?"

"No" I said "at least not that I know of she hasn't mentioned any"

"Stress is one of the main causes of premature labor" the doctor said.

"But the baby is ok?" I asked.

"Yes the baby is fine, perfectly healthy and the right size for this stage of the pregnancy" he said "he just needs to stay in there a little while longer"

"See I knew the baby was a boy!" Lucas exclaimed.

"Lucas shh I'm talking to the doctor" I ordered.

"So what is going to happen to Ashley now?" I asked.

"We want to keep her on beds rest for the duration of her pregnancy and if the labor starts up again before at least 37 weeks then bring her back in" the doctor said. "but we'd like to keep her here for the night"

"Ok if this is really what is best" I said "Ashley isn't going to like it"

"If she wants to deliver a healthy baby then she'll stay put and keep the stress level down" The doctor said.

The doctor walked away he obviously didn't know Ashley well enough to say that last statement. Trying to keep Ashley in one stop is like sticking your bare hand in a beehive and taking it out without one bee sting.


	16. Chapter 16

_Chapter 16: Wrestlemania 21_

_April 2005_

Wrestlemania 21 was that night and Maddie and I decided to order it. We allowed Ashley to watch it after we made her promise to take it easy and no yelling obscenities at the TV.

"So Ash you excited about you baby shower?" I asked.

"I really don't see why we need to have a baby shower because we have everything we really need" Ashley said.

"Let the grandmothers have their fun" I said.

"Now that you know that he's a boy what's his name?" Maddie asked.

"I have a name all picked out but I'm not telling anyone until after he is born" Ashley said.

"Why can't we know now?" Maddie asked.

"It's bad luck" Ashley said "besides I don't want you to know, now shut up so I can watch the pay per view"

The PPV began and nothing too eventful happened.

"Maddie does Randy win his match?" I asked.

"No, he needs shoulder surgery so he looses tonight and then tomorrow Batista is gonna throw him into the metal part of the turn buckle, therefore the WWE can explain where he is for 4 or 5 months"

"Wait a minute is that why you and Randy have moved in for the time being?" Ashley asked "because here I thought you were here for your nephew"

"We're killing two birds with one stone" Maddie said. "besides Randy will be on bed rest for a week so now you have someone to complain with"

John's match was up next and Maddie and I tried our hardest to get Ashley to leave the room but it was no use she wanted to stay. She hadn't watched wrestling in months since I had caught her watching it. After we gave up trying to move her we tried to keep her busy with conversation.

"Ash you need anything?" I asked.

"Yeah for you to shut up" she replied.

As you may know John won his match and became the WWE Champion. Ashley's expression was unreadable, she hadn't said anything since the beginning of the match. For once in my life I had no idea what my sister was thinking and that scared me.

"Well I'm going to bed" Ashley said.

I got up to help her back into her room but she pushed me away.

"I can handle it" she said.

After Ashley had gone back to her room Maddie and I sat watching the rest of the PPV.

"You know what we should go bowling after Ashley has the baby" Maddie remarked.

"Like old times before everything got so messed up" I said.

"I talked to John the other day" Maddie said. "I called Randy's cell phone and he picked up, I have never wanted to kill anyone more"

"Did he know it was you?" I asked.

"Luckily for me no" she replied.

"He isn't worth it" I said.

"I know" Maddie said "I know"


	17. Chapter 17

_Chapter 17: It's a Boy_

_April 17, 2005_

Ashley's due date was March 3rd but we all had a feeling that our nephew was going to be an April baby. I was 4:30 in the morning, Ashley began to violently shake me awake.

"Ashley what are you doing out of bed?" I asked.

"My water just broke" she replied.

I shot out of bed and ran into Maddie and Randy's room.

"Get the fuck up she's having the baby" I yelled ripping the blankets off them.

Randy was the first one up, Maddie rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.

"Madeline our nephew wants to come out so get your ass up now" I yelled in her ear.

Maddie woke with a start.

"Oh my God it's too soon!" Maddie exclaimed.

"Yeah let's scare our sister a little more" I remarked.

We all threw on clothes and hurried to the car. Randy was in back with Ashley she was squeezing his good hand (remember he had surgery).

"Remind me to punch John in the face next time I see him" Randy hissed in pain.

"Punch him for me too" Ashley said through gritted teeth.

Finally we made it to the hospital. Dr Adams, the man who had treated Ashley before was waiting for us.

"It's nice to see you again Ashley" Dr Adams said.

"I wish I could say the same" Ashley replied.

"Let's get you checked out" he said.

We all waited outside the room.

"We need to perform a C-section" the doctor said as he walked out of the room.

"Can we be with her?" I asked.

"Normally we only allow one of you but I think we'll make an exception if Randy Orton agrees to sign an autograph for my sons" the doctor said.

"I think that could be arranged" Randy smirked.

We all suited up. Randy was in charge of the video camera.

"Hey Ashley you ok?" Maddie asked.

"Excited and a little scared" she said.

"He'll be here soon" I said.

I held onto Ashley's hand on one said and Maddie had the other.

"Just keep this in mind don't look over this curtain thing if you are squeamish" the doctor said.

"First incision" one of the nurses said.

For the next 10 minutes we heard a bunch of medical terms like "we need more suction" and other things of that sort. Of course Maddie looks over the curtain.

"Wow that is so cool" she said.

I looked over and almost passed out. The doctor pulled the baby out and took him away very quickly.

"Doctor why isn't he crying?" I asked.

"The cord was wrapped around his neck, he's breathing now and everything seems fine but we are taking him to the ICU just to be safe" he replied.

The doctor walked out of the room, I followed him.

"When can we see him?" I asked "my sister doesn't even know what her son looks like"

"I know you are scared but he wasn't breathing when he was first born… he was completely blue but everything that can be done for him is being done" he admitted "your sister needs to know her son is ok go to the ICU on the third floor and see for yourself"

I went up to the ICU, where they were keeping my nephew. He had an oxygen cone over his head. The doctor had told me that it was there to help him breathe. One of the nurses came out to talk to me.

"You a relation to one of the babies or are you just looking?" she asked.

"My nephew is the one they just brought up here" I replied.

"He has fluid in his lungs which is making it harder for him to breathe normally but he'll be fine once he coughs it up" she said "this condition is common with C-section babies.

"What about the cord being wrapped around his neck he wasn't crying when he was born?" I asked.

"That sometimes happens, the doctors had to help your nephew take his first breath"

"So he's ok?" I asked.

"Well he needs a name but that is about it" she said.

"I don't even know what she wants to name him" I laughed "she wouldn't tell any of us"

"Go see you sister, tell her that her son is fine and remind her he needs a name"

Walking back to Ashley's room I felt relieved. My nephew was finally here and he was going to be ok and now Ashley couldn't bitch about being on bed rest, everything was good.

"Addie did you see the baby is he ok?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah, he's fine the nurse I talked to said as soon as he gets the fluid out of his lungs he can be in the normal nursery" I said "she would also like to remind you that he needs a name"

"Randy could you get the doctor?" Ashley asked.

"Sure honey" Randy said.

Randy got the doctor.

"Is everything alright?" he asked.

"Yes I just wanted to know when I can see my son" Ashley said.

"Hopefully later on today but it depends some women have very bad reactions to the pain killers tomorrow morning at the latest" he said. "but if one of your sisters wants to go up and take a few pictures I'm sure that could be allowed"

"Randy and I will go" Maddie volunteered without even having to be asked. She grabbed the digital camera out of Ashley's bag and headed to the ICU.

"So how are you feeling?" I asked.

"I'm good the painkillers are working so I don't feel any pain" Ashley replied.

"So what's my nephew's name?" I asked.

"Boston Anthony John Mercer" Ashley answered. "and before you get all pissed off and go why did you name MY nephew after that jackass, know this John is Boston's father and I want him to have something of his to carry on"

"It doesn't matter what I think because he is your son" I said "let me call Maddie so she can have the nurse write Boston's name on the birth certificate" I said.

"Hey Maddie" I said into my cell phone "tell the nurse that the baby's name is Boston Anthony John Mercer"

"Where the hell did she get the name Boston?" Maddie asked.

"Ash, Maddie wants to know where the name Boston came from" I said.

"I wanted to give him a name that meant something to, both his father and I love the city so I was like what the hell name him that" Ashley replied.

That night I went to the ICU to see Boston before I left and I couldn't believe what I saw. John was in there rocking the baby.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I wanted to see him" he said.

"I intercepted the message you left my mom and I knew I had to come here and see him" he said.

John put the baby back in the incubator thing. He made sure he was covered up.

"Are you planning on seeing my sister?" I asked.

"No I don't want anyone to know I was here" he said "I can't be a father I have no idea how to take care of myself"

"That is a cop out excuse and you know it" I said.

"Boston needs so much more than I can give him I'm leaving him because I love him" he said "I need for you to know I never once doubted he was mine for even a second, I was scared of having that much responsibility"

I watched as John went over to the baby once again.

"You come from good people don't forget that" he said "I wish I could make you proud of having the name John but I can't"

He kissed Boston before walking out of the hospital.

I sat up all night thinking about what John had told me. I decided not to tell Ashley about John because it would only hurt her in the long run.

The next morning I got to the hospital just as visiting hours were starting.


	18. Chapter 18

_Chapter 18 Bringing Home Boston_

_April 2005_

It was 10 days before we got to take Boston home from the hospital but when he finally was home Ashley and I both had a huge sense of relief.

"Addie can you keep an ear out for the baby incase he cries I want to get a shower before the whole family gets here?" Ashley asked.

"Go take a shower because I'm practically gagging you smell so bad" I quipped.

She flipped me off while walking away.

"Nice mother" I said.

"He's asleep so he didn't see it" she said.

Just as the shower turned on Boston woke up and began to cry. I walked into my sister's room and picked him up from his bassinet.

"What's the matter sweetie?" I asked him "I think someone needs a diaper change"

I walked into the nursery and put Boston down on the changing table. He began to cry, he did not like being naked.

"Shh Boston I know you don't like being naked but you need your diaper changed"

I had learned very quickly the right and wrong way to change a boy. He peed on everyone that had changed him at least once. The funniest time was when he got Maddie right in the face. She was talking on the phone, which was her first mistake. She opened her mouth to say something and WHAM!. I still laugh about that to this day. The look on her face was priceless, I wish I could have had a camera.

"There we go Mr. Man all nice and clean again" I said in a baby voice.

"You sound like an idiot when you talk like that" Ashley said.

"It's keeping him from crying isn't it?" I asked handing Boston to her.

She took him into her bedroom and proceeded to get dressed.

Our mother was the first to arrive at our house.

"Hey Ma" I said kissing her cheek.

"Where's my grandson?" she asked.

"Gee nice of you to come see your daughters" I said mocking being offended.

"Please I saw both of you everyday for the first 19 years of your life I want to see little Boston" she said with a wave of her hand.

"He's in with Ashley, she's getting dressed" I said. "can I offer you something to drink?"

"Mineral water would be nice" she said

"With or without lemon?" I asked

"Either is fine" she replied.

There was another knock on the door. Mom answered it John's family was here. This was the first time they had seen Boston. I knocked on Ashley's door.

"You'd better get out here soon because mom and Carol are about to break down your door"

"Sorry I had to change Boston's clothes he spit up" she said.

"Hey everyone" Ashley said walking into the living room with Boston in her arms.

Everyone rushed to gather around the baby.

"Damn you'd think ya'll have never seen a baby before" Ashley joked. "everyone I'd like to introduce you to Boston Anthony John Mercer"

"Leave it to you to name your son Boston while living in New York" John's brother Boog said.

"This coming from a man who goes by Boog" Ashley teased "besides take a look at his bedroom nothing but Redsox stuff"

"That kid is gonna get jumped" John's brother Dan said.

Carol smacked him upside his head.

"Why would you say something like that?" she asked.

Ashley handed Boston to our mother and went to sit down.

"You look tired" Carol said to her.

"Haven't slept properly in a couple of weeks" she admitted.

"Go lie down we'll take care of the baby"

"Fine, he just ate so he should be ok just bring him to me later if he gets hungry again"

After Ashley went to bed the serious talk began.

"How are we going to keep this from John?" Matt asked.

I had to bite the inside of my cheek hard not to laugh and scream out he already knows.

"It seems obvious by his actions that he doesn't care" I said. Of course it was total bullshit because I knew he did care in his own way.

"Of course he does" Carol insisted.

I looked into her eyes willing her to realize what I knew but she didn't.

"Carol if Ashley hadn't told you none of you would have know" I said.

Carol looked at the baby asleep in her arms. He looked so much like his father that was clear to everyone who knew of him.

"Addie is right mom, John hasn't mentioned Ashley or the baby at all in the handful of times we have seen him" Matt said.

"It seems like lying to me" John's father said.

"You are doing the same thing he is it's not lying if he asks you about the baby then go ahead and tell him" I said.

"How can anyone not love this little boy?" mom asked.

A cell phone went off. Matt reached into his pocket.

"It's John" he said.

"What's up bro?" Matt asked.

"You're home… umm we're visiting some people in Long Island… you know mom always wanting to visit her friends" Matt said.

Carol rolled her eyes when she heard John laugh on the other end of the phone.

"Ok see you when we get back" Matt hung up the phone.

"What did he say?" Dan asked.

"He wanted to know why the whole family found it so important to travel from Massachusetts to New York to visit one of mom's friends" Matt replied.

"If he only knew" I said with a laugh. It was even more funny because I knew that he knew why the whole family was in New York. John was doing a good job of covering his tracks and I was just there to make sure everything worked out. I was never meant to see him at the hospital but I had so that made he his accomplice even if it was against my will.

"Well let's enjoy our time with Boston and we'll worry about John when we need to" Carol said.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: I do not own the song lyrics that are in this chapter. I know lyrics are not allowed but this particular song plays an important role in the sequel of this story. Yes there will be a sequel because there is only a few more chapters left of this one.

_Chapter 19: Ashley Gets a New Job_

_May 2005_

It came from work at 8:30 and I had been working since 4 that morning, I was exhausted.

"Hey Addie" Ashley said. She was sitting on the couch folding clothes while Boston entertained himself in his swing.

"Hi" I replied "you seem different"

"Today was a good day" she said.

"What happened to make it that way?" I asked.

"Well Boston and I were coming home from Baby Yoga and I just happened to be walking past this trendy new bar" Ashley said.

"Do I even want to know the rest?" I asked.

Ashley rolled her eyes "Yes, well something told me to go in there so I did, they were looking for a new bartender so I'm employed again"

"So let me get this straight you work in a bar?" I asked "you were practically a God damn doctor and now you work in a bar!"

"You think that I like having to resort to working in a bar" Addie countered "I liked my old job but I want to be here for Boston, I'm the only parent her has"

Boston started to whimper in his swing. Boston had 3 stages whimpering, crying and then wailing, if you didn't do something before the first two stages you were screwed.

"Now if you'll excuse me your nephew is hungry" she said.

She picked Boston up. It was amazing how much he had changed in a month. The dark hair he was born with had fallen out and was now growing in blonde. Not to mention he had probably doubled in weight since then. He wasn't fat he was just very solid. This sucked because he was growing out of clothes like crazy. Ashley sat down on the couch and began to nurse Boston.

"So when do you start?" I asked.

"Next week" she replied "by the way Tyler called"

"And?" I asked.

"And eventually you are going to have to call him back because I am living vicariously through you love life"

"I don't know I think this thing with Tyler is moving too fast" I said.

"What could possibly be the matter? He is good looking and really sweet not to mention reliable and financially stable" Ashley said "what more do you need?"

"You don't understand" I said.

"Adrian I understand perfectly, look at me I have dated a handful of guys in my whole life and all but one turned out to be an asshole" she said "so now I'm sitting here alone with a child… please don't end up like that Tyler is a nice guy give him a chance"

Ashley finished feeding Boston and got up to give him a bath.

"Tubbie time" she said in a silly voice "Boston loves taking tubbies"

I grabbed the baby bath tub thing and put it in the sink. We both laughed as Boston splashed around in the warm water.

"What is so bad about being like you?" I asked "you are an amazing mother"

"Sometimes I really don't think so" she said "I want to give him everything he needs and I can't"

"It would have been easier if John was around but look at you, you are raising your son without any help from his father not many people can do that" I said "if I were you I would have had John's ass in court suing him for child support"

"Life isn't always about money" Ashley remembered John saying that to her at one time or another.

After that she busied herself with shampooing Boston's hair. I let her do her task unbothered.

"Are you ignoring me?" I asked once she had washed the shampoo from his hair.

"Yes" she replied

"Why because I am right?" I asked.

"No because you are annoying" she said.

She took Boston out of the tub and wrapped him in a towel. Then she walked into Boston's room and began dressing him for bed.

"Can you stop and just listen to me for 2 seconds!" I exclaimed.

"Listen Addie I appreciate what you are trying to do but I have to deal with my mistakes on my own" she said.

"So you view Boston as a mistake?" I asked.

"Of course not, I love Boston with everything I have but I wish him being here was better planned out" she said.

"That might be true but he is here and healthy so we should count our blessings" I said.

"Trust me I do everyday" she kissed the baby's forehead. "it's bed time now"

This was Ashley's favorite time of day where she could sit and rock her son to sleep.

"_I just climbed out of a cottonwood tree, I was runnin from some honey bees. Drip dryin in the summer breeze after jumping into Calico Creek._ _I was walkin down an old dirt road past a field of hay that had just been mowed. Man I wish you'd just left me alone. Cuz I was almost home." _she sang.

Craig Morgan's _Almost Home _was an unusual lullaby but it was a sweet song. I have no idea how she ended up singing it to him every night but she did and he loved it.

I sat on the couch listening to Ashley sing. She had an amazing singing voice but she chose to use it only when she was singing Boston to sleep.

"You know that song is about a man dying right?" I asked when she sat down next to me on the couch.

"Not exactly' she said "it's about going home"

"Gee I never would have figured that one out without your help" I replied sarcastically.

"You don't see the message the song is trying to put out" she said.

"And I really don't care" I said.

"Hater" she said.

"Don't make me go vintage Hulk Hogan on your ass" I threatened.

"Bring it on bitch" she retorted.

We were like little kids sometimes, play wrestling. I had just knocked Ashley to the ground when she grabbed my leg and pulled me down with her. Randy and Maddie walked in.

"Randy grab a seat and I'll make the popcorn" Maddie said "this fight should be good"

Ashley and I got up off the ground.

"Aww damn I was looking forward to some girl on girl action" Randy whined playfully.

Ashley smacked him in the arm.

"You are a nasty pervert" she said "and I can't believe that in a few months I am going to be related to you"

"Well you are so get over it" Maddie said.

"Hey guys Ashley is a bartender now" I said.

"Ash do you even know how to mix drinks?" Randy asked.

"Yes I bartended to pay my way through collage and medical school" she replied.

"Did you really?" I asked.

"Yeah I got my bartending license at 19 and I tended bar till I was about 23" she said.

"How did you get a license at 19 if you can't drink till you are 21?" Maddie asked.

"I have my ways" she said.

Maddie raised her eyebrow.

"What the teacher was hot" Ashley defended herself.

"You're nasty" Maddie said.

"Coming from the person who is dating the sex addict" Ashley countered.

"Ashley I wouldn't go there" Maddie said "because there are some things we know about your baby's daddy that you wouldn't want to be let out"

"This is John here there is not much that would surprise us" I said.

"Well Ash your boy wears thongs" Maddie said. Ashley seemed unsurprised.

"You knew?" I asked.

"Yes and it's not like he wore them all the time" she said.

Maddie, Randy and I laughed while Ashley seemed to get annoyed.

"You all are immature asses" she said "I'm going to be and if one of you wakes that baby up I swear I will kill you" she said.

"John wears thongs who would have thought" I said.

"Do you think she'll get mad if I go in and see Boston?" Maddie asked.

"As long as you don't wake him up then she'll be fine" I said.

"Well then I'm going to go see my beautiful nephew" she said.

It was just Randy and I in the living room now.

"So how's John doing?" I asked.

"He's ok" Randy replied. "he's a little quieter now"

"Maybe he's starting to finally grow up" I said.

"You know something that the rest of don't" Randy said.

"I know nothing" I said.

"Ok fine don't tell me but just know that I know" Randy said.

"If you knew you wouldn't be asking me what I know" I said.

"You know what I mean I know that you know something" Randy said.

"Well I am totally clueless" I lied.

"Sure you are" he retorted. "keep your secrets"

"Fine by me"

I was never really sure if Randy knew the truth about John and Boston but I never told him. I never told anyone the truth well until now but that is beside the point because what I know now doesn't really make a difference.


	20. Chapter 20

_Chapter 20: Seeing you again_

_February 2006_

Boston was 10 months old now. Although people usually think he I a lot older because he is a very big baby. If I didn't know any better I'd say he was a year old myself.

"Addie I'm going to work" Ashley said.

"But today is your day off" I said.

"I know but I'm still trying to pay off my credit card bills from Christmas so every little bit helps" she said.

"Ok well don't worry we'll be fine" I said.

Boston and I had been playing with his toys on the floor. Ashley came over and picked Boston up.

"Boston give mama loves" she said. This of course meant give mama a kiss.

Boston shook his head no, which is something he had just learned to do.

Ashley faked gasped and pretended to be sad. Boston giggled and relented giving his mother a kiss. He was a very bright boy for only being 10 months old.

"Mama has to go to work" she said "so I want you to be a good boy for auntie ok"

Ashley gave Boston another kiss and returned him to the floor.

"Wave bye byes to mama" I told Boston.

He waved his little hand.

"There are 5 bottles pre made in the fridge" she said "I just gave him a bath so just feed him and put him to bed ok"

"Gotcha boss" I replied. "I know and I'll even sing the stupid song that is all about death"

I knew that would piss her off. Which is exactly why I said it.

"Oh yeah Randy called the WWE is in town and he's gonna crash here for the next 3 days" Ashley said.

"Ok no problem" I said.

I put Boston to bed and sat around. It was a Saturday night and I had finished all my work so I was just relaxing. The door slammed shut and I looked up to see Ashley. She looked upset.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Why is it when everything seems to be going good something bad happens" she said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I saw John tonight" she replied.

The red flags were going off in my head this couldn't be good.

Ashley sat down and laid her head on my shoulder.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" I asked.

"Might as well" she said.

"It was going good I had been working for about an hour" she said "I saw Randy walk in so I figured he had come to keep me company till I got off work… you know like he does sometimes but then I saw John and it was like everything that was keeping my heart in one piece disappeared"

"Randy came over to the bar and the minute he saw me he knew that this was a very bas situation" she explained.

"_Ashley I am so sorry I had no idea you were working I asked Maddie 3 times before I suggested we go here and she said it was your day off" he said._

"_It is my day off but I'm working a little over time" I replied._

"_I swear I'll keep John away from the bar" he said._

"_Ok… please do I don't think I'd be able to face him" I said._

"_I am so sorry" he said._

"_Make it up to me by tipping well and giving these pictures of Boston to Maddie" I said._

"_Ok I will" he said._

"Randy kept his promise and kept John away from the bar but just seeing him did it's damage" Ashley said.

"I'm so sorry honey I wish I could help you through this" I said.

Ashley reserve broke she allowed herself to cry. She hadn't cried since John had left her and with everything weighing down now it's amazing she had lasted this long.

"I don't understand why now?" She cried "why couldn't he just stay away?"

"Do you need anything?" I asked.

"All I want to do it to make a huge bowl of popcorn and feel sorry for myself" she said.

"I guess you deserve that" I said getting up to make the popcorn.

Ashley curled up on the couch and closed her eyes.

I brought in her popcorn and then left the room again. I went into my bedroom to watch TV and wait for Randy to get here so I could kick his ass. Technically he hadn't done anything wrong. But seeing Ashley cry made me feel helpless and I hated feeling that way.

It was past 5 when Randy came strolling into the house. Ashley had went to be hours ago so I returned to the living room. Randy's face fell when he saw me.

"I know what you are thinking and it was an accident" he said.

"I know it was" I said.

"Then why do you look like you want to kick the shit out of me?" he asked.

"Not you… John I'd like to kick the shit out of him" I said.

"So do you wanna hear my side of the story?" he asked.

"Well the sister in me says just kick your ass and get it over with but the lawyer tells me to listen and seeing as the lawyer side pays the bills I'll run with it" I said.

"I didn't know she was working I asked Maddie about 10 times. Rayne is the only bar around here that I know, so we went there and I kept John away" he said.

"Yeah I got that part what happened when you got back to the table?" I asked.

"I was putting the pictures in my coat when he asked me what I was doing I told him I was putting picture's of my sister in law's son in my pocket to give to my wife the next time I saw her" Randy said "then he asked if he could see the pictures so I handed them to him"

"What did he do then?" I asked with growing interest.

"It was the weirdest thing he read the back you know where is says the name of the baby and the age and then he smiled and said cute kid and then he handed the pictures back"

I shook my head John could be the most infuriating person in the world and this moment was one of those times.

"He did ask who kid it was?" I asked.

"I guess he just took the nephew explanation" Randy shrugged.

"Yeah probably" I said.

It was obvious that he wanted to come and see his son but he was too stubborn to. That stubbornness would cost him in the long run.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Goodbye

April 2006

I started writing this book because I wanted to express my thoughts about my sister's life and by her living her life it changed mine. Ashley taught me how to relax and have fun, that there is a line between being a hard worker and a good person. This will be the hardest thing I will ever write.

"Happy Birthday dear Boston, Happy Birthday to you" we all sang happily.

Boston was a whole year old. It seemed like just yesterday Ashley was bringing him home from the hospital. The cake was served and the presents opened. Ashley had been having a really bad migraine all day.

"Maybe you shouldn't work tonight" I suggested.

"I'll be fine" she said. "but just to be on the safe side will you pick me up later?"

"Sure" I said.

"Randy's driving me in" she informed me.

I remember that night all too well it was raining and I really didn't want Ashley to leave but she had to.

She kissed Boston goodbye and told him she loved him. She gave me a kiss and a hug also.

"See you guys later" she said before walking out the door.

She lied she would never see us later. Ashley Michelle Mercer died at 4:45 on April 10th 2006.

I was there to see her final moments, she had been coming out of work and this car just drove by and shot her. I cradled her in my arms as she lay bleeding.

"Addie tell Boston that mommy will always be with him" she said.

"Ashley don't talk like that" I said "an ambulance is on the way"

"John I always loved you… even after you left" those were the last words to leave her mouth.

Her eyes closed and she was gone.

I couldn't even describe what I felt at that very moment because I can't even remember. My grief was too great, I didn't want to believe this had happened and for a long time I didn't. Maybe that is why I did what I did. Because looking back at that time now I really don't know how I survived. It's unhealthy but Ashley and Boston had been my whole life and when my sister died it was like I wanted to die too. I almost did.


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: This is the last chapter and I wrote it is written in the third person because I wanted to get everyone's thoughts in this one chapter.

"_John we're going to be late" Ashley said. She was smiling, it was like any other New England Summer, hot and humid, her hair was blowing softly in the breeze. John was just leaving the house, he stood at the front door making sure it was locked. There was a sound of a car in the distance. He looked at Ashley she was still smiling. How he loved her smile. But then the next thing he knew she was on the ground. A bullet wound in her chest. He wasn't sure how he had gotten to her side but in the blink of an eye he was by her side holding her, stroking her hair._

"_I… I never stopped loving you John even after you left" were the last words to ever leave her lips._

"NO… ASHLEY" John thrashed around in his sleep.

"John wake up" she watched as her husband suffered from his night terror. She shook him carefully. Finally his eyes shot open. But it wasn't Ashley staring back at him it was Maria.

"Where's Ashley?" he asked.

"John honey you're scaring me" Maria replied.

"No this isn't happening" John stumbled out of bed.

He tried to stand but his legs were like jello. So he crawled as far away as he could.

"WHERE THE HELL IS ASHLEY" John screamed.

"John there is no Ashley" Maria said. She was kneeling next to him. She had one hand on each of his bare shoulders, she forced him to look at her.

"There is no Ashley" she repeated.

The shrill ring of a cell phone woke John up. He was lying in his locker room. He had this really bad headache and he must have fallen asleep.

"Hello" he said. He was still groggy and a little unsure of his surroundings.

His mother was on the other line and she sounded upset.

"Ma, what's wrong?" he asked his voice full of concern.

"She's gone"

The next thing he knew he was standing uncomfortably still watching a casket being lowered to the ground.

"_Why did I ever leave" _he silently asked himself.

Adrian embraced him.

"Addie it's been a long time" he found himself saying. Adrian stiffened when she heard him call her by her childhood nickname.

"Yes it has" Adrian replied.

"I can't believe she's gone" John said.

Adrian gave him a perplexed look. Was this not the same man who had _left _her twin sister heartbroken and barely able to survive at all? Childhood love was nothing more than a fairytale.

John watched as Maddie and Randy came up from behind Adrian.

"Madeline you are looking lovely as ever" John's attempt to lighten the mood went unnoticed.

Maddie was surprised he had shown up at all. But then again John never stopped amazing her. Maddie remembered when she had first met the man that she along with everyone else thought would be her brother-in-law. Maddie had no idea how to feel right now. All she could think about was the precious little miracle that was at home right now probably asleep.

"Addie is he bothering you?" Maddie asked.

"No it's alright Maddie we were just catching up" Adrian smiled weakly at her younger sister.

"Ok well I'll be heading home but before I do that I'm going to stop by mom and dad's…"

Adrian caught the hidden meaning of her sister's sentence. She nodded in understanding.

"Goodbye Maddie" John said.

"Bye asshole" Maddie replied.

John couldn't help but smirk because on any other set of circumstances Maddie would have whooped his ass and her calling him asshole was her way of proving it. John didn't deny that he deserved the ass kicking. He probably deserved an ass kicking everyday for the rest of his life for the way he messed up.

"I've been having the strangest dream for about a month now" John wasn't sure why he was telling Adrian this but he felt the need to.

"It's about…" he began but Adrian cut him off.

"I know what it is about" she said "what might have been"

"You know you never truly forget about your first true love" he scratched the back of his head.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Adrian asked. "We aren't friends… trust me we aren't even close"

"I know" John whispered. "how's your mom?"

"She's ok" Adrian said. "she's doing good considering her daughter just died"

"That probably wasn't the smartest question to ask" John said.

"Go back to your life John" Adrian said "we have everything under control down here"

"I can't" he said.

"Please John just go don't make this harder than it has to be" Adrian begged.

"I just realized Ashley's son is about 1 now" John said.

_A fall day, playing in the leaves. Her hair smelled of strawberries and cream. That was the day she uttered the words that scared John to death._

"_I'm pregnant". He remembered the way she looked as he called her a slut and walked away. Her tears were burned into his memory._

He knew she wasn't a slut and he never doubted the baby was his. He was just afraid of loosing everything he had worked so hard to achieve, his own selfish desires killed the only thing he had ever held dear to his heart. He had a 1 year old son that he knew nothing about.

"I know this is asking a lot but do you think maybe I could see him?" John asked. "just one more time"

"I'm only doing this because Ashley would have wanted me to" Adrian said. "write down your hotel and room number and I'll bring him over tomorrow"

John went to his car and found the pad of paper and pen that he kept there… just incase he got inspired to write a freestyle while he was stuck in traffic, you never know. He wrote down his information and handed it to her.

Adrian began to walk away.

"Addie, when you first walked over to me I thought you were her" John said "I was hoping that this was all a dream, but I guess not"

"Yeah I guess not" Adrian said.

The next day John was cursing himself for drinking too much the night before. He knew Adrian was bringing Boston over, this was just great he was seeing his son for the first time and he was hung over.

The thought that he was seeing his son for the first time was sobering.

"Well here goes nothing" he said to himself.

It was about 2:30 when he heard the knock on the door. He opened it and tried to smile at Adrian and Boston but he couldn't.

"Hi" he managed to say.

"Hi" Adrian replied politely.

He let them in. Adrian had a seat on the couch. Boston sat on her lap. There was no denying it now the little boy looked exactly like John.

'_Is that a good or a bad thing' _John thought.

"Boston can you say hi?" Adrian asked.

"Hi" Boston said.

"Do you know who this is?" Adrian asked Boston.

"Champ" Boston replied.

Adrian laughed weakly "Well at least he knows who you are"

"Yeah" John said sadly.

"Well I should be going" Adrian said.

"Wait? What?" John asked.

"I have to go" she said.

"What about Boston?" John asked.

"He's yours now" she said before leaving.

John banged his fists against the wall gently not to scare Boston. He had been outsmarted at his own game. He had left because he didn't want to be responsible for a child. But now he was but Ashley wasn't here anymore to help him. He was left alone just like she was.

The End… or is it?

Sucky ending I know but thanks for bearing with me. I promise the sequel will be better and all I have to say is expect the unexpected because you never know what I'll come up with. I wanna thank everyone who reviewed it means a lot. So if you are interested look out for What Hurts The Most.


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